I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize