i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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