I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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