i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When are your genitals available?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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