guys are only as good as the porn they watch
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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