last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
