it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have feelings that need drinking.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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