Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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