So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
