once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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