Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
