What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
