so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Randomize
