Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
