Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
