do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize