i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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