I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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