The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
only you would photoshop your dick
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
