these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
