Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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