Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
