you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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