Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
