he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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