idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
