My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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