I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
