Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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