I'm gonna have a badass scar
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
