I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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