Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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