I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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