we have officially lost it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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