# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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