elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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