I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
