Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have aggressive nipples.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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