Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Someone shit on the floor
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
