Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
