god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
