Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
