You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
