ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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