I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
MIDGETS
????
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
