Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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