I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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