First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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