I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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