Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
