i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
