so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
