Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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