I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
