I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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