Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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