You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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