We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize