sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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