If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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