All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
