Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
