Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
