Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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